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Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
10:17 am - Change
Its crazy, i looked at myself this morning, and i actually didnt reconzie the person standing their in front of me. Thats never happened to me before. Everything from my appearance to the look in my eyes, was almost forieghn. I havent actually had any physical changes - well none dirastic. I guess its the first time i looked through the eyes of almost someone else. I've never seen my self as old enough to be going into highschool, like i just saw. I never reconized that -i . . .look, seem, and am who i am - right at this moment. Does that make any sense? Probly not. . .well anyways, for some reason i wanted just to share that. Does this happen to other people, or is this just me?

current mood: contemplative

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Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
2:37 pm - Long time
Wow, its been awhile since ive been on here. Two days after i gradauated, i left straight for Germany - than to Mexico, for the total of almsot three weeks! It was all totally awesome, and a major culture shock, but - ive told so many people my stories, that to write about it write now would drive me insane! Im just glad to be home - oh and now i have a new computer! One that actually works! Thank GOD! It really is awesome though. . .itss a Mac, PowerBookG4, and it rocks! I i just now transferred all my files from my old computer. Jeesh ,that took forever! But i have so many things i need to get done in the next to weeks, im feeling so overwhelmed again - but when am i not? Ive been so exrtremly lazy the past three days, well kinda.

My parents are acting weird again. There up about my distant around them again. Im just tired and exsaughsted, jeesh. . .

I have to go to LA in the two weeks, and i have to do 7 homeworok catch ups! Kill me now, i mean it. . .!!! *cries*

Im officaily obsessed, right - no, the words pationitly intrested in Hayden Christensen. Dont know how that happend, but it did.

I have to babysit almost every day for the next two weeks, that really really sucks. . .

My friends are all crazy, clingy, and negative - and i dont want to talk to any of them. Does that make me a bad person?

Gosh im tired. Sorry for venting, but i feel better now. Writting always seems to help me when im feeling a little down. Huh, well im going to go read a little bit now, than i have some phone calls to make. Be prepared people, because im getting to work and im on a mission!

current mood: discontent

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Thursday, June 9th, 2005
10:12 pm - i graduated!!!
I graduated 8th grade tonight! I was Vala Victorian! And i had to do a speech! I was so terrified - but i did it - came up there, and spoke what i had to say. Everyne loved it! It was my best peace of work! Than i wore my beautiful blue dress! I named it the 'hawian version of cinderalla' , because it looks like the blue cinderalla dress, except more thin, with high ( beautiful!) flip flops, my fav neckalce, my moms wring, a white rose in my hair, and a purple lay of flowers around my neck. Wow, i felt like a princess! Im so proud of myself, and im going to miss everyone so much! Dad was so proud - that was soooo nice. And i hugged Justin - 5 times! lol My crush - and he doesnt even know. Though i think he kinda does after tonight. I had to keep begging him to come tomarrow. I really hope he does! He and G. said i earned the vala thing 3x in row! It was so sweet. Justin also said my dress was very pretty on me. . .isnt that sweet? *blushes* Awww. . .than we talked for a little bit. Than he hugged me, reall tight, and i did to. I think we both lke each other - but we probably wont see each other again after tomarrow. I really hope he goes to the same highschool as me next year. . .Oh ok, than we talked som more, i hugged G. to. ( poor guy, he luvs hugs so much!) , but i told them i would miss them so much. And i will. Than before i left, Justin came up behind me and lifted me up of the ground in suprise! It felt so wonderful! Gosh hes strong. And he smells sooo goood! Im going to miss his smell. But its funny. . .my Dad bought the same colone a few weeks ago, and he just wore it tonight. I was hugging him tonight, and i was like ' oh, he smells just like Justin!'. He smells really good. God, thats cheesy - but its true! Im going to miss everyone so much. Its the end - im going to miss them all so much. . . .today was one of the happiest, best days of my life. I cant believe it - im a higschooler. Wow, wow, wow. . . .WoW! Yeah! Summer vacation is at 12:05 tomarrow! yes! Oh i hope Justin comes tomarrow. . .I kind of want to kiss his cheek, just once. ive never kissed anyone before , but it wouldnt be to bad. lol Ok, now i sound silly! Well im going to miss Kaite, shes not comiong to higschool with me. Trevor isnt coming either - i wont be able to show him how much ive changed! Today is really the end - or the next chapter to my life. I cant believe it. I just cant. . .i feel different. Well, Good night! Congrats to us all - graduated 8th graders!!!!

current mood: I did it! Wow!

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Sunday, May 1st, 2005
7:09 pm - Back home
Hey, im back home! I went out to San Francisco for one and a half days, ah- that was awesome! OK i went to a Sufi Simposium, most likely no one would really have any clue what that is - but to put it simply its a religious type of gathering for, well my relegion. lol Got some quaility time with Dad, long passed, but always pleasurable! I feel totally refreshed, though in no way ready for the new day to begin! Gee, life goes by to fast. . .

Mmm ok so intererusting events. . .

Justin ran after this super market guy with a spiked mohach - in all black and chains. Mmm, Dad saw - wow, talk about priceless expression. . .And shocker for me!

Next, people looked at me incredbly wierd today, or maybe its normal for people look at other people bug eyed all the time and i just never noticed before. . .?

Dad actually listened to my new Inuyasha sound track.

Katie didnt call a million times today! Relief!!!!

Pondered if i was a hat person.

I sang in the bathroom for an hour, dont ask . . .

Mmm, thats about it. Lifes interusting huh?

Oh and im listening to 'Walk like an Egytion' by 'The Bangles' Fun beats.

Well i need to go finish my history homework. Isnt the proverb not to waste time in the paste and spend it in the present? Seriously, schools need to pay attention to what they're teaching us. I think their obviously very confused people. . .

Mmm, thats all i can coment on

current mood: Anxious

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Thursday, April 21st, 2005
10:06 pm - Another day. . .
Ah, its been another day, and its deffinetly time to go to bed. My teeth have been brushed, now all i need to do is pjs, than im off to bed! Wow, this week hasnt been as bad as i thought, insanely surprising huh? Tomarrow is friday, and thats a wonder. . .And i counted the days---only 1 month and 2 weeks till school get out. Im going to be in highschool. Me. In highschool. . .Wow, i cant believe it! But Dad says we might be moving, there's a 50% chance, thats bigger than i could have ever imagined. I guess i thought my Dad would always stay here - he said he would anyways. But Laila thinks were staying, we probably are- - but theres still some sort of a chance. Mmm, to much to wonder now though.
Well g'night, sweet dreams. . .

current mood: Relaxed....

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Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
7:04 am - *whimpers*
Ugh, i dont want to go to scool!!! its way to early first of all - like 7am , and i went to bed around 12:30 last night! I just couldnt sleep ok! My gosh, i dont want to go! I really, really, really dont want to go! Every fiber in my being is totally against it! This is absolutly horrible! I have to see my old friends who i didnt leave offon the best of terms with, and honestly im scared. Im exsaughsted of always have to deal with this stuff, and i dont want to deal with this now! AND to make matters only even worse *clears throat*, i have star tests today! Tests! I HATE tastes, and i really really hate these tests! And todays a wednesday, ugh - i just cant do this! Im scared, i dont want to - i dont want to say anyone. I want to stay home with Laila and just rest. Im to tired. . . .Wow, im just so scared and upset i have to go. *wimpers* I just really dont want to. . .please dont make me!

current mood: Worried!

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Sunday, April 10th, 2005
8:41 am - Sleepy, and classes
OK its 8;40am, the earliert ive woken up in a decade, and im so tired! Ok so maybe i shulndt have have to bed at like 12:30 last night - not my fault - well kinda....Mmmm *yawans* Well ive got to go! Ill write later i suppose...hope i dont fall asleep during the whole ordeal!

current mood: tired!

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Thursday, April 7th, 2005
8:52 pm - Another day...
Ah, another day! i cant believe its already almost 9'o clock! Wow! Well today was ok i suppose - not bad really. I slept in till 11am, that was swonderful! Than i showered, unpacked, and did...things. Well honestly i dont know what i really did to make the day go by so fast. Huh, well than i went grocery shopping, ok well here was were the big bang happend! I lost 70 dollars! I had it, well i put it in my pocket,a and went grocery shopping for Sam and I's breakfast for the next week or so. It seemed to be going fine really, well other than i was feeling quite light headed - i still do actually, maybe im on the vurge of a cold? Hope not, ive been sick enough to last me awhile, thankyou very much! Plus Asiya is sick right now, really really sick. I mean she looks horrible! And dont mean that in a bad way, but she must feel horrible, and shes all red, and no doubt her body aches and she has a runny faucxet for a nose, and a horrible headahce! And shes only a baby! gosh, i know how she feels... but anyway back to the grocery store. Well see it all happened when i was at the cash register, unloading all my facinatingly dull but delcious productes, when i reached into my pocket for my money, only to realze it wasnt there! Double taking silently, i quicly but calmost grabbed all my groceries and put them back into my cart.Than i back up going past a whole line of people and *than* started panicking. I must have checked all mof my pockets like a million times, i raced aruond the ials of the store, traced my steps, even looked in the cart - nothing nada! It really was tramatizing. I kept chaniting a little mantra in my head of 'dont panick, dont panick, im sure its somewhere. . .it *will* turn up. People dont just loose 70 dollars...' yeah, that really didnt help much. My heard was beating hard, adreneliene pumping, and i still hadnt found my money! I mean $70 is a lot ya know. I eventually backtracked all my steps and was near tears as i reached back into my room, telling sam i had lost all that money. Sam was shocked, and tried to help, and to make matters better i ran into dad! *cringes* I had to tell him, i mean how do you avoid something like that? And i shivered at the thought, i mean the whole way back i was running over my options and went from a state of 'Dont worry, im sure i just misplaced it...' to 'shit, shit shit! Dads going to kill me, what do i do, i mean i know i had it in my pocket-' so you see, i kinda was on the verge of a mental breakdown, ya not fun! I vagually recall the little pep talk i was going to have with my Dad starting out with, "well Dad, you see...something happened. I mean its not horrible, but its not good either. I mean i had the money you gave me, and well than i lost it - but i think it will turn up! Maybe if i look somemore. . .please dont kill me!" yeah, it was horrible. But i told Dad, luckily he wasnt to mad i just mad, and the argreement was i would pay all of it back if i couldnt find it. Luckily though i ran back to the grocery store and asked a lady at the casheir if $70 had turned up and, walla, it had! Well that is after a whole bunch of running back and forth around the store and to different people, but thats not the point. The good news is i found it - and purchased the long awaiting groccersies...major relief there! But yeah, now im all tired about talking about that. Well im going to go to bed soon, i just hope i dont have any more bad things happen in the next week or so, i really cant handle that type of stress!

current mood: Wierd and drained

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Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
10:29 pm - Starters?
Ok well im starting this now - i dont know how i really am supposed to start something like this..but its a journal right, so you write in it? Well thats how im going to start it than! Well, im back in Lake Arrowhead(LA), and its deffinetly time to go to bed. Im deffinetly exsausghsted - i mean ive had no real sleep for like a month, and just 5 hours today - so i think i deserve some rest, neh? Well this should be interesting. . .well at least im missing out almost 2 weeks of school! Hah, i could go for that any day of the week. . .yup, anyday! Well ill right tomarrow possibly, and im going to read some fanfic and than go to bed. Seriously, i think i look like a raccoon, oh well! 'night!

current mood: Tired...*yawns*

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